Popular Posts – Read All blog posts here

We all know that you know your business. You’re an expert, a genius. You know your stuff. And that’s great, but…

We don’t always understand what your saying. You’re speaking in… what’s the layman’s term for it? Jargon.

Jargon, whether computer-jargon, accounting-jargon, or some other kind of jargon I haven’t heard of yet, is the bane of clear communication between people from different workplaces, and is therefore the bane of networking in general.

This is because networking is all about clear communication. You will be severely limited in what you can accomplish by networking if you can’t make your contacts understand you. They have to know what you want in order to help you, and you have to be able to understand what they want in order to be able to help them. At the heart of it, networking is an information business, and if the information doesn’t get across the gap between your jargon and their understanding, no real connection will be made.

Think about it this way: when you speak in jargon, you’re speaking a language that others will not be able to understand. You won’t awe them with your all-knowingness; you’ll bore them because they won’t have a clue what your talking about.

So. When you’re out networking, picking up some new contacts, make sure that you speak in plain old English so that your new contacts will be able to understand you. You may have to take a couple moments before networking, and think about a way to clearly explain different parts of your job in layman’s terms. If it’s too complicated, you may consider comparing it to something that is common knowledge, even if the fit isn’t exact. That way, your contact can at least get the general idea of what you’re trying to explain instead of being completely lost.

In other words, do whatever you think is necessary to make yourself understood. But remember that you not only have to articulate yourself clearly; you also need to make sure that you keep your audience interested in what your explaining. Networking also isn’t going to happen if they wander away halfway through your explanation. If you can tell a story to illustrate your point or better explain what it is that you want them to understand, you will have made a good impression.

Your daily routine is a trap. A cage. A cave from which you rarely venture forth to see the light of day. You do the same things at the same times day-in and day-out, you go the same places and you see the same people. The exact same people. You may love them or hate them but they are the people you know, and you are comfortable with them.

But the the truth is, no matter how comfortable, happy, or resigned you may be about seeing only the usual people every day, if you aren’t meeting new people, you aren’t networking. And that’s what you’re here to learn, right? Networking.

It may scare you, it may make you uncomfortable, it may make you feel nauseous, but you need to get out of your cave, walk into the sunlight and present yourself to the world; how else will it know what you have to offer?

And, of course, there are many different ways you can do this. You could call up a friend who you haven’t see for a while and renew your ties with them. You could follow up on a referral that a friend gave you ages ago. You could visit somewhere you haven’t visited before. Anything to get you out of that cage you’ve been living in.

Going to conferences is a great way to get out of your cave and meet new people. You’ll have an easy conversation topic with anyone that you meet because you can assume that they’re also interested in the topic of the conference if they decided to come. And people will be in a mood to meet new people, because that’s what they expect to do at a conference. This is all in your favor if you’re not quite comfortable with meeting new people yet.

If you want a bit more of a challenge, you could just charge out into the world; start talking to people that you meet at the supermarket, go out to a new restaurant for dinner and make conversation with a stranger, or even join a group that you’d previously been interested in but never got around to joining. Any of these free-form ways of meeting people will suit the more confident networker just fine.

Whatever your comfort level is, and whatever way you choose, just make sure you are meeting new people, and not falling back into the same old rut of seeing only the same old people.

I truly and sincerely believe that all of us, introverts and extroverts, can practice networking on daily basis and through it’s practice, better our lives.

‘Sincerely’ is the key word in that sentence. ‘Sincerely’ describes how I believe, and because I believe in that way, it can be said that I have a certain trait called ‘sincerity’ which means that I am a sincere person. To be sincere is to be open, honest and earnest. To not be deceitful. And sincerity is important if we are network successfully.

Sincerity is, by definition, something that you can’t fake. It is the absence of faking. It is truth. People will instinctively sense when you are being sincere with them, as opposed to when you aren’t. There will be something around the eyes, something in the upright way you hold yourself that will signal to them: this person believes in what they are saying. And they will listen to you because of it, and respect you.

Networking is not about saying what people want to hear. It is not about being sycophantic. When you become preoccupied with saying what your conversation partner wants to hear, you stop really contributing to the conversation. A lot of words may roll off your tongue, but none of them will be your own, and none of them will be worth listening to.

You have to be honest, above all. In previous weeks I’ve talked about the importance of just being yourself, and that means being honest, especially about what you think. Your opinions are just as valid as anyone else’s, and if they are truthful, they may add a dimension to the conversation that no one else could have contributed. Your own opinions will be original and interesting to those around you.

Sincerity is important in networking because it helps you to build a reputation as someone to be trusted, someone who speaks the truth, no matter what. Not many people have the courage to do that. This will be another small, positive way in which you’ll make yourself stand out from the crowd and demand recognition from the crowd for the person that you are. And the way to accomplish this is simple: just say what you think.

Introverts of the world – let the extroverts do the chattering.

You’ve lived through hellish networking events and random meetings, feeling worthless for being silent, for learning and thinking before you speak. No more.

What you need to know is this: If you can listen while looking interested, if you listen because you are interested and try, above all else, to understand what you are hearing, you are a rare breed indeed.

A majority of people who show up at networking events will be extroverts, if only because networking events are the type of event that they thrive at. And extroverts come to chatter, gossip, pontificate: to talk. Very few of the people who show up at a networking event will be there to listen, and only to listen.

Therefore you, as a listener, will be a breath of fresh air. You will be the one who actually hears what everyone is saying; you will be the one who is paying attention, giving the speaker a reason to speak.

Don’t you think that might make a favorable impression on those around you? It will, I promise you that.

Make it clear that you’re paying attention, and that you’re sincerely interested in what they’re saying. You can do that by giving the speaker your undivided attention; don’t fidget or look off into the distance. Listen. And when you have the chance, ask questions. There is no better way to prove your interest than to ask a question. After all, you wouldn’t ask a question if you didn’t want to know the answer.

As an introvert myself, I’ve had my share of friends and acquaintances that appreciate the listening ear that I can always lend them. And the arrangement works well for both parties; they get a listening ear, and I get to hang out without any awkward silences that I feel obligated to fill. The same will hold true in networking; let them do the talking, and ask questions, and they’ll appreciate you for it. And on top of that, you’ll have gained another connection on your network by doing what you do best.

In the networking world, the most important thing you can be is helpful.

Charming is nice, of course. It makes for easy conversation and good entertainment. But what use is easy conversation if it’s also empty conversation? Being charming won’t matter a thing if you’re not also helping. If your target is getting something out of the conversation they’ll remember you much more favorably than if you had just been charming. And ‘help’ in the context of networking can be nearly anything that effects the target in a positive way: information, a solution to a problem, an easier way to do something – you get the picture.

Of course, this is great news for us introverts. Charming may be harder for us to do. But helping someone out? That’s definitely less of an issue. You just have to know what problems you can solve, and what useful information you know or can easily learn in the course of your daily life.

Referrals definitely fall into the category of help. You may not be able to help your target directly. but if you can refer them to someone who can help, you’ll have helped them and the person that you referred them to as well.

On top of that, you may think about what you as can do for other people. Maybe they’re in a bit of a tough spot, and you can offer to help them move at the last minute, or run an errand for them, or make a phone call to someone you know who can help make their life a little easier. This will be different for everyone, of course, and within your capabilities the possible ways to help someone will vary from target to target. This just means you have to be expansive when thinking about ways in which you can help people. The possibilities are endless, because we each have so much potential.

Networking can be incredibly easy and effective for you as long as you remember to set out to help people. People will remember and reward those who help them, though they may not plan on it, and it may be way down the line. But as Ivan Misner says: Givers Gain.